MCCSD... and other stuff

I think an update post is long due.

So basically, finals came and went. Stress came and went. Highlight of it was the study sleepover session at Yen's place. :) I think to me that wasn't only productive for our revisions, but also on our friendship. The 5 days together helped us to get to know each other better and be greater friends to one another. Long story short, finals was great. It was surprisingly (okay, well, not so surprising considering the amount of tips that was given) easy save for Antoon's paper which no one could actually prepare for. All I can do now is to hope for the best as I've done my best. Everything is in the hands of the Father now.

Moving on, I started off my semester break with a camp - MCCSD (Malaysian Catholic Campus Student's Day). I've known about this camp since the beginning of the year and have been wanting to go for it. Unfortunately, when the time came for registration, my finals timetable was not out yet so I thought, with a heavy heart, that I had to forgo this. By the grace of God, even though I was late by one week after the closing date, they still accepted my registration. Also, I think that whatever reason it was that caused my dad to say yes without even having me to convince him, God definitely played a part.

Of course, coming in, I didn't know what to expect from this one week formation in Kuching. However, having been through it, I would say that it was definitely a blessing to me. The amount of memories, laughter, friends, and experience that I've gained from MCCSD cannot be replaced. It was such an awesome experience where our brothers and sisters in Christ from all over the country get to meet each other and bond with one another. Often you see the East Malaysians and West Malaysians separated but with this, we are all united. Also, given that I liked the East Malaysian's accent, I got the chance to converse in Bahasa Melayu with them and slowly but surely, I started adapting to their accent especially adding the word ‘bah' after a sentence. :P

There is this one question where people tend to ask: WHO ARE YOU? or rather WHO AM I? I like to think that a question like this would often gain no answer. It's hard to actually decipher our whole self. Questions like what is my purpose in life and where do I go from here. It's hard to answer them, no? Through the many camps I've been for, many might say that at least some sort of clarity to who I am would surface. Personally, I know that I am a child of God and that is the most important identity I have but then again, that doesn't really answer the question now, does it? Every step I have taken was always with doubt and I pray that God would guide me to make the right decision. I can only say that so far, His promise is true. I think that no matter what our actions are, it is ultimately to give glory to Him. Say for instance, my scholarship, was a witness to how great God's mercy and love can be. Our decisions, whilst not influenced by self desire, can lead to greater good. I chose to skip the scholarship interview to attend Good Friday mass. What you give to God, He would return it back to you ten folds. I was given the chance to attend the second interview needed for this scholarship and truly, only by the grace of God, was I able to obtain this scholarship.

Coming back to the question, I would say that I really don't know what I would do or where life would take me. All I can say is that I put my trust in this almighty God that wherever He takes me, I would be willing to follow. As to who I am, I am His daughter, made with love and for love, to serve Him and His people, for the greater good because that is what love is - willing the good of the other before own self. While I am still discerning my vocation, at least I feel like I have gained some sort of clarity already and not feeling lost. I would like to use my talents God had granted me to serve Him. Being a speaker and a missionary holds a place in my heart. I want to go out there into the world and preach His good news and His teachings that so many people tend to misinterpret. I feel that I'm more directed towards young people and teens. They need to understand that this world, this temporary superficial and corrupted world, is nothing compared to God's eternal kingdom. Don't throw away what God has given us to satisfy our worldly desires and wants. I really look up to people like Jason and Chrystilina Evert, and Christopher West, who teaches on JPII's Theology of the Body.

Also, just to include something from Fr. Michael's talk, who's from the Divine Mercy Retreat Center in Sydney, we need to give back this mercy God gives to us. We cannot just keep it in us. We have to let it overflow and pour out to others. To be a Christian is not just to follow whatever He asks us do (eg: go for Sunday mass every week), but to be witnesses of His love in both our thoughts and words in our daily lives. Like what we always say in mass during the I Confess, it is both “in our thoughts and our words, in what we have done and what we failed to do". Go forth and love and serve the Lord.

The Archdiocese of Kuala Lumpur. They have a special place in my heart. ♥