Life's Journey with God

Have you ever experienced strong feelings of attraction for someone to the point it overwhelms you? In cases like this, I suppose the common way out is just to tell the person how you feel about them and then just bear the consequences whatever the response may be. But it never really dawned on me how much the burden transfers from me to the other person until a recent conversation with a friend. Upon confession, the feelings one might feel are anxiousness and worry while waiting for a response, disappointment, hurt and sadness if it’s not reciprocated, over the moon if the feelings are met with open arms. Let’s focus on the part where it’s not reciprocated. If we’re able to set ourselves up for disappointment and already mentally prepared for the worst case scenario, I don’t think the blow would be that bad. In fact, I think finally releasing all that pent up emotions and imaginary what if’s scenarios would present some form of relief. But how about the person on the receiving end? Th...

Take this as a follow up post from the last one. That was December 2024. Now it’s May 2025. Advent came and went. Christmas came and went. Lent came and went. Now we’re in Easter season. So did anything change? I honestly had hoped that my Lenten abstinence of social media and watching dramas would help me break the cycle of late nights and perhaps even borderline addiction. I knew I was bound to fail after the 40 days because at the back of my mind, I treated it as if it was a temporary pause, not a season to rewrite habits. Easter Monday came and I fell back into it instantaneously, catching up on all the episodes I missed, from night till early morning. There was guilt mixed in with the temporary feeling of happiness and pleasure. I kept asking for grace and for God to make a strong enough conviction on my heart for me to be able to completely cut this out of my life eventhough I knew it would not happen in that way simply because I chose to continue making the same choices everyday...

As I hit the lights and attempted to sleep last night at 2am, I found myself tossing and turning as thoughts kept popping up in my mind one after another, keeping me restless.  In the past few weeks / one month, I have been filling in my time after work to catch up on newly released GL series from Thailand. As I get more invested in the fandom and the lives of the actresses, I find myself once again intrigued and somewhat desiring a relationship, at least to just be able to experience what it feels like to have a special someone to care for and to be cared by. This is not to say that these types of shows trigger me to see a certain lack in my life as it is bound to happen even if I watch shows with heterosexual couples but only because it feels more relatable and hopeful for me in seeing two females get their happy ending. At the very least, even if it doesn't happen in my own life, I can still find some form of comfort and happiness in seeing these fictional couples overcome their...

MAGIS // 22 - 31 July 2023 As I recollect my thoughts and memories of all that has taken place in my three weeks in Portugal, perhaps the most important and significant experience I would like to keep with me for years to come is the 6-days unique experience I had under the Faith and Spirituality category. When we initially registered for MAGIS , there was five categories which we could choose from, to be ranked according to our preferences: Arts & Culture, Ecology & Environment, Faith & Spirituality, Pilgrimage & Journey, and Service & Solidarity. Knowing myself to be quite a creative person who enjoys all forms of creative expression and exploration of cultures, I had initially selected Arts & Culture to be my top choice. I can't remember if Faith & Spirituality was placed as the second or third choice but nevertheless, that was what I got placed in along with four of my other teammates (we were split into two groups, with the other half going to S...