One-sided crush: To confess or not?

Have you ever experienced strong feelings of attraction for someone to the point it overwhelms you? In cases like this, I suppose the common way out is just to tell the person how you feel about them and then just bear the consequences whatever the response may be.

But it never really dawned on me how much the burden transfers from me to the other person until a recent conversation with a friend. Upon confession, the feelings one might feel are anxiousness and worry while waiting for a response, disappointment, hurt and sadness if it’s not reciprocated, over the moon if the feelings are met with open arms.

Let’s focus on the part where it’s not reciprocated. If we’re able to set ourselves up for disappointment and already mentally prepared for the worst case scenario, I don’t think the blow would be that bad. In fact, I think finally releasing all that pent up emotions and imaginary what if’s scenarios would present some form of relief. But how about the person on the receiving end? There could be feelings of confusion, asking if they’ve done anything wrong, if they were being too friendly, if some actions done or words spoken might have given the wrong impression. There might even be feelings of guilt because they feel as if they are the reason for the hurt and sadness we’re going through. Now, the weight of the feelings of attractions is no longer with the person who felt it, but is being transferred to the other person to carry, knowing that the relationship would never be the same again.

I think too often I tend to just want to express my feelings and move on. But what I don’t realise is not every circumstance needs an honest confession for me to be able to close the chapter. Of course it would be nice to hold on to that sliver of hope that the person could still share the same sentiment and return my feelings, though I suppose if I already know that it was always a one-sided thing and I’m just doing this because I selfishly want to let it all out then letting the other person deal with the aftermath, is it really love in the first place?

Anyway, I hope I make sense. At least it does in my head. Writing this down helps it to sink further and to remind my future self if I ever encounter myself in a similar situation, to see the overall picture instead of navel gazing into my own emotions.