Perceptions
For the first time, I stepped into the CPSC yesterday. I've always known its existence in Taylor's but I never thought that one day I would actually use the services provided by the Counselling and Psychological Services Centre. One very large fear I think is because of the society's perception of mental health issues and the need for counselling. People will probably look at us differently. Family will probably say things like "what's wrong with you" or "it's all in your head".
Looking back, I've always struggled with unbalanced emotions, more so in the last couple of years, and sometimes, the difference or the drop in emotions will be so drastic, even my body can't cope with it. Not only will I start having anxiety attacks, going into a irritable state, mentally going to dark places, I will also start feeling nauseous with a painful ache deep within that squeezes all happiness and joy from me.
So when I broke down in uni yesterday (like legitly unable to stop myself from crying for a good 15 or 20 minutes or so), I decided that it was time I seek some professional help instead of harboring on the possibility that something might be wrong with me or potentially dealing with it in a wrong and negative way.
This morning was my scheduled session with the counselor and it really helped me. Perhaps it was also because today happens to be one of my more good days. Most of what she spoke of was already made known to me after many times of going to my amazing confidante ♥ for most, if not all of my problems. However, it still felt good be able to talk about it and to feel as if I mattered, that my feelings mattered, and that there are people who wants to journey through this with me.
Several things really struck me which I think are good to note down.
Looking back, I've always struggled with unbalanced emotions, more so in the last couple of years, and sometimes, the difference or the drop in emotions will be so drastic, even my body can't cope with it. Not only will I start having anxiety attacks, going into a irritable state, mentally going to dark places, I will also start feeling nauseous with a painful ache deep within that squeezes all happiness and joy from me.
So when I broke down in uni yesterday (like legitly unable to stop myself from crying for a good 15 or 20 minutes or so), I decided that it was time I seek some professional help instead of harboring on the possibility that something might be wrong with me or potentially dealing with it in a wrong and negative way.
This morning was my scheduled session with the counselor and it really helped me. Perhaps it was also because today happens to be one of my more good days. Most of what she spoke of was already made known to me after many times of going to my amazing confidante ♥ for most, if not all of my problems. However, it still felt good be able to talk about it and to feel as if I mattered, that my feelings mattered, and that there are people who wants to journey through this with me.
Several things really struck me which I think are good to note down.
- Be aware and recognize my emotions.
- Keep track of the frequency, duration and period of these moments.
- Ask myself whether am I lonely, or do I let myself be lonely.
- When sudden emotions come flooding in (such as anger), practice the pause and let my mammalian brain process and come up with a rational response instead of reacting through the reptilian part of the brain.
- Finding the happiness inside of me instead of having to depend on external factors all the time.
- Seek counsel and be wise on choosing who to talk to as not everyone may have the capacity to understand, care and empathize in which case can cause more emotional distruptancy.
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