Testimonies
For the period of one month, I've taken to changing the way I live my life, the way I see things, the way I speak, act and think. And it has honestly been a great journey so far. Never have I been able to see Him working in my life as clearly as I have now.
So much opportunities to be part of something, to grow in my faith, have also fallen into my hands. From being a speaker in LOST camp, to facilitating in the upcoming Soul Sisters 2.0, I never thought I would be here one month ago.
Giving testimonies is definitely something I thought I would never be asked to do because my life isn't even close to those I look up to, isn't something to be modeled after, isn't worth listening about. Or so I thought. But just two weeks ago, I was in El Sanctuary, Melaka, giving a session on prayer and sharing my personal story of how I found God through the mass and through the community. I realized that no la, God was always there. I was just blinded by my own self interests and selfish desires that I failed to see His goodness in my life. It was always all about me rather than Him.
This time around, my testimony that is going to be told to 30 over young girls is going to be something much more personal and closer to heart. My struggles with same sex attractions was never a smooth sailing ride as the posts in this blog can tell. But despite all that, God's grace was what helped me. His strength and love made me realized how lost I was before and how I never accepted the hand that was given out to me to take.
So yeah, I decided that this blog shouldn't be about just my feelings and desires surrounding my whole attraction towards girls but how God has helped me and is continuously helping me through it all. After all, someone once told me that if I didn't have this attractions towards girls before, what makes me so certain that someday in the future this attraction will still stay?
It's wise to not let myself be defined by something I'm not even sure myself, to not let the world and all its social construct and ideals define me, but to root myself in my identity as a daughter of my heavenly Father.
So much opportunities to be part of something, to grow in my faith, have also fallen into my hands. From being a speaker in LOST camp, to facilitating in the upcoming Soul Sisters 2.0, I never thought I would be here one month ago.
Giving testimonies is definitely something I thought I would never be asked to do because my life isn't even close to those I look up to, isn't something to be modeled after, isn't worth listening about. Or so I thought. But just two weeks ago, I was in El Sanctuary, Melaka, giving a session on prayer and sharing my personal story of how I found God through the mass and through the community. I realized that no la, God was always there. I was just blinded by my own self interests and selfish desires that I failed to see His goodness in my life. It was always all about me rather than Him.
This time around, my testimony that is going to be told to 30 over young girls is going to be something much more personal and closer to heart. My struggles with same sex attractions was never a smooth sailing ride as the posts in this blog can tell. But despite all that, God's grace was what helped me. His strength and love made me realized how lost I was before and how I never accepted the hand that was given out to me to take.
So yeah, I decided that this blog shouldn't be about just my feelings and desires surrounding my whole attraction towards girls but how God has helped me and is continuously helping me through it all. After all, someone once told me that if I didn't have this attractions towards girls before, what makes me so certain that someday in the future this attraction will still stay?
It's wise to not let myself be defined by something I'm not even sure myself, to not let the world and all its social construct and ideals define me, but to root myself in my identity as a daughter of my heavenly Father.
Comments
Post a Comment