Log 6: Looking Back

So looking back to how I was before all this, to the values I so tightly hold and desperately trying to convince others and myself on how unnatural same sex attraction is, about how it isn't normal, it was only now that I realize that the church's teachings are meant to free us, not bind us, to help us find freedom and love, not restrict and feel unhappy. So despite all that, I realize now that it is the love of Christ that is the most important and no one can ever take that away from me. Accepting myself and accepting what this is, is the first step in fully accepting Christ's love for me.

Being around people that knows what I'm going through, having these amazing humans to journey with me means a lot to me. And speaking to someone who have gone through this, having experienced what I am going through now is so so important for me. To not be alone and to have someone, especially a sister in Christ there for me who I can go to no matter what and not be judged but just to understand and to listen.

It's funny how I initially started off feeling very ashamed of this, not wanting anyone to know except for those close to me that I really trust to share this with. But now, day by day, I feel as if it isn't something to be shoved in the dark. Instead, it should be brought to light so that I may see it in light too because I too want the acceptance of people, and the chance to love and be loved. So maybe, maybe in the near future, all these posts will no longer be drafts but actual posts. To not hide but to be true to myself and others.


Dated: 1 December 2016

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