Life's Journey with God

Here's a post that will divert from my usual (which are usually about my feelings, experiences, setbacks and well, God!)  to talk about my food journey today! So this morning we started our journey to Klang from Shah Alam at 9 plus. We reached the famous Mee Hoon Kuih restaurant at about 9.40am. Fatty Mee Hoon Kuih House, located in Berkeley, opens at 9.30am. Andrea and I, waiting for our food. Only RM4.50 per bowl with an additional 70 cents for an egg. We had a review of all the food we ate and for this mee hoon kuih noodles, this is what we rated: Rachel - 7/10 Nothing special about it save for the clear soup and cheap price. Andrea - 6.5/10 The service was slow so don't go there hungry. You will come back hangry. The food that came didn't compensate for the total time waiting. Next, we went to try out beef noodles which was only a few restaurants away! Cheong Kee Restaurant, also in Taman Berkeley. We ordered beef stomach a...

Heavy heart, tired soul. It's not as if I've never experienced this before but it's always tiring to go through it – things that sits heavily on the heart or things that keeps my mind disturbed. Recently it dawned on me that maybe my habit of touching people, having contact/human touch with those that I'm comfortable with may come from a place of need. Seeing as my love language is touch, I can't help it but think that perhaps it's because I yearn for some love and acceptance (not family love but a different kind of love) that it becomes something I do without having to put thought into it. But once I do, I'm wary and afraid that I'm somehow using these people to fuel or fulfill some desire of mine to be loved. To add on to it, it's usually my female friends that I end up close to and I'm so so aftaid of mistreating the friendship. Yet when I force myself to hold myself back from any unnecessary contact, the feeling of wanting it becomes st...

I realized how little I've turned to blogging now that I keep a personal prayer journal. Yet knowing I have a space to just write is nice and that's probably why I still keep this. It's 2018 and by now, many people would have already understand how deadly things like mental health and prejudices/out-casting certain people from society can lead people to suicide. To understand is to really put yourself beneath the circumstances of what that person is going through. I'm probably not really articulating anything anymore at this point but my point is, people need to see the importance of life. Whenever young people ask , "What is life?", I get tongue-tied. It's not because I don't know the answer. It's because the answer varies from one person to the other. Hence, even if I try to convince people the value of their lives and how we each have the power to make something of it, many just don't see the point. As much as I have gone down the spir...

Program 1: The Good News about Chaste Love (on Formed.org) It is interesting to listen to these very real people, who are part of  Courage , share their story on their own personal experience of same sex attractions. Sexual attractions can easily grow into "using" for our own self pleasures. "I realized that the people I used to idolized turned to being sexualized instead." One interesting thing one of the members shared was, "Doing it (sex) was a distraction from the guilt that I was doing ." As the readings these past few days has been pointing out, sin begets sin. Although we know the goodness of the Lord, yet we still very much sin in ways of the flesh. St. Paul wrote " In my inmost self I dearly love God’s Law, but I can see that my body follows a different law that battles against the law which my reason dictates. This is what makes me a prisoner of that law of sin which lives inside my body." (Rom 7:22-23) Indeed, the temptations...

For the first time, I stepped into the CPSC yesterday. I've always known its existence in Taylor's but I never thought that one day I would actually use the services provided by the Counselling and Psychological Services Centre. One very large fear I think is because of the society's perception of mental health issues and the need for counselling. People will probably look at us differently. Family will probably say things like "what's wrong with you" or "it's all in your head". Looking back, I've always struggled with unbalanced emotions, more so in the last couple of years, and sometimes, the difference or the drop in emotions will be so drastic, even my body can't cope with it. Not only will I start having anxiety attacks, going into a irritable state, mentally going to dark places, I will also start feeling nauseous with a painful ache deep within that squeezes all happiness and joy from me. So when I broke down in uni yesterday (...

For the period of one month, I've taken to changing the way I live my life, the way I see things, the way I speak, act and think. And it has honestly been a great journey so far. Never have I been able to see Him working in my life as clearly as I have now. So much opportunities to be part of something, to grow in my faith, have also fallen into my hands. From being a speaker in LOST camp, to facilitating in the upcoming Soul Sisters 2.0, I never thought I would be here one month ago. Giving testimonies is definitely something I thought I would never be asked to do because my life isn't even close to those I look up to, isn't something to be modeled after, isn't worth listening about. Or so I thought. But just two weeks ago, I was in El Sanctuary, Melaka, giving a session on prayer and sharing my personal story of how I found God through the mass and through the community. I realized that no la, God was always there. I was just blinded by my own self interests and s...

“Step by step we're getting closer, Little by little we're taking ground." That is precisely how I feel right now. It's just been tiny eenie bitsy steps everyday closer to God. But truly all praise and glory to Him for allowing me to fall and yet rise again with much more fervent and determination than before.  It's a moment in my life where things doesn't seem like a mess, when it doesn't feel like everything's out of control. I know God's in control and I've been letting Him take control of it all (almost, I try). Things have change, I've changed. What was different is that not only have I managed to stay away from temptations to indulge in media content for the sake of satisfying my desires, I also have greater self control and self will to want to stay away from that because I know where it will lead me and how it will affect me. I have also been stressing out a lot about plans after graduation lately (the past few months in fact) and ha...